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asr Funny Manpage - bosskill

By Juergen Haas, About.com

NAME

bosskill - send a signal to your boss, or terminate your boss

SYNOPSIS

bosskill [ -signal ] (bossname)

DESCRIPTION

bosskill sends the TERM (terminate, 15) signal to the boss with the specified bossname. If a signal name or number preceded by '-' is given as the first argument, that signal is sent instead of terminate. The killed boss must be in the system administrator's supervisory chain.

The following is a list of all signals with names as in the include file (signal.h):

SIGHUP 1 hangup. Forces bossname to re-read his/her job description and figure out that he/she knows squat about sysadmin work or life, in general.

SIGINT 2 interrupt. Prevents the bossname from interrupting the sysadmin for one hour.

SIGQUIT 3 quit. Causes the boss to quit his/her job with no explanation.

SIGILL 4 illegal instruction. Makes the boss believe the last instruction he/she gave was illegal, so he/she withdraws it.

SIGTRAP 5 trace trap. Display the exact location of the boss.

SIGABRT 6 abort. Makes the boss go home and try again tomorrow.

SIGKILL 9 kill. Game over.

SIGBUS 10 bus error. Boss's transportation fails on the way to work.

SIGSEGV 11 segmentation violation. Boss realizes he/she is trying to do something for which he/she is not quailified and stops.

SIGSYS 12 bad argument. Boss loses.

SIGPIPE 13 smoke pipe. Boss samples some green leafy substance and mellows out.

SIGALRM 14 alarm. Boss is startled and falls over. Best used when boss is walking next to his/her boss.

SIGTERM 15 termination signal. Boss is fired.

BUGS

Sending a SIGABRT to a boss that is already home will cause him/her to walk aimlessly in circles for two hours.

HISTORY

Written by Eric L. Pederson (eric@bofh.org.uk).

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